So, What Do You Do in Life?

I often facilitate meetings or training sessions where I like to have people introduce themselves. I try to be creative so it's not the boring plain "tell us your name, what department you are in, and how long you have been with the company." But usually one of the things I ask people to do is to tell us what they do in life...not for a living, not in the company, not as a hobby...just an open "what do you do in life?" I leave it to them to interpret the question the way they want to and answer accordingly.

To give people time to think how to introduce themselves, I start. When I get to the "what do you do?" question, I always say "I am a husband and the father of five awesome children, four sons, and a little princess." The five children usually elicits at least a 'wow' but often an incredulous 'five children?" or something like that, but once people pick up their jaws they introduce themselves and something really interesting happens!

Almost without exception, everyone follows suit and answers the "what do you do?" question in a very similar way. Everyone ends up talking about their family or their nieces and nephews, or their cats or dogs! It's great to see the trust this generates but it is also an interesting contrast to what we most often see in similar interactions. People almost always define themselves by what they do for a living. Perhaps because we spend many years preparing for it if we've gone to college or a vocational school. Perhaps it is because we spend the majority of our day at work or thinking about work; after all, it's the source of one's livelihood. But perhaps it is also because that is really how we see ourselves.

This came to my attention many years ago when our oldest son, Helaman, was just a little baby. My wife was to attend a church activity and I needed to be home with him. Someone asked me what I was doing that evening and I explained I needed to be home with the baby upon which came the often heard reply "ah, you have baby sitting duty!" Almost without thinking I said, no, I am being a father. Ever since then I have tried to remember that caring for children is not reserved for mothers alone and is as important to the children as providing for their welfare and protecting them. This is a privilege that all fathers can claim.

So I love to introduce myself by describing what I do in terms of my role as a husband and father, not because I think other descriptions are wrong or less worthy to mention, but because it makes it ok for others who might feel just as happy to be dads or moms, to say so and feel proud about it. So try it next time you meet someone.

So, what do you do in life?