MF: You just finished law school. You went from having a stable career and reinvented yourself. What have you learned about yourself as a father and how has that changed your outlook as a father?
Eric: First thing I have to say is that I couldn’t have done it without Irina. Law school in itself is a challenging experience and then you add kids and other responsibilities, it’s pretty overwhelming! If it wasn’t for Irina’s support and her dedication I couldn’t have done it. It is also very helpful that when we decided to go to law school it was a very prayerful decision so we knew that that was we were supposed to do no matter how hard it got.
I had to learn how to make time for my kids and my wife to continue the relationship at the level we wanted, so we’ve had to learn new things. I think too that when you go through something very difficult, we grow closer together as a family. It’s made us realize that even if things aren’t great, it’s great to have a family and that we’re doing the right things.
MF: Most children don’t have the experience Morgen has had to have his dad be a student like she is. What was it like to be a student parent and come home from school like Morgen?
Eric: They would always ask what kind of projects I did at school what I had for lunch! They would always send stickers and suckers for my teachers! It is a good way to teach them the value of education. They’ve seen the sacrifices, so they know education is valuable and that you work hard and things work out.
Eric: I [look at] the challenges I had when I was a kid and looking at what teenagers face now in terms of what is acceptable in the media and mainstream society. Much has changed in the last 15 years, how much more is going to change in the next 10 years, as my children become teenagers? What kind of world my children are going to face? It’s going to be a more liberal society and I think about how do I teach my children to stay in the straight and narrow? How do we counteract [that] with the little bit of time that we have with them? Because as they grow and spend more and more time with their friends and at school, how do the few minutes and hours a week that as a father we have with them, how and what do we teach them? I think that’s the biggest challenge.
I see that the more consistent we are with the basics, the more confident the kids seem in standing up in making the right choices. So the focus is trying to do those basic gospel principles that we’re taught so the kids will have the tools to lean back on as they face the challenges of today.
MF: What are some traditions, rituals, daily activities that help you do those basic
things?
Eric: One thing we found works well is reading the scriptures during dinner. We read a couple of pages and we always ask questions and even though they are eating, they listen so they can answer the questions and they are picking up the principles.
We also do father’s interviews the first Sunday of every month and it’s something the girls look forward to every month. It’s a little thing, but it’s a time to talk about what they worry and are thinking about,
MF: What are some traditions that you have tried to institute to foster the relationship between you and your children?
Eric: Morgen likes to wake up early so we eat breakfast together. Then I get to walk her to school and then every night I try to put the kids to bed. Because they sleep in separate rooms, I have a few minutes to talk with [each] and see how their day went and be goofy with them.
MF: What are some of the role models you’ve had as a father?
Eric: I look up to my dad for many things, one of the most beneficial things that he taught us was to work hard. I’m very grateful that he taught us how to work and expected us to work. His example of a work ethic has helped me in my professional pursuits to stick with things to get them accomplished.
I’ve also look to other men in the church who have influenced me. For example, the idea of father’s interviews came from Bishop Hawes and Steve Kesler. So I pull different ideas from different dads, those who are doing the right things and learn from their example.
MF: Say something about a significant person, event, milestone, or turning point that has helped you to be the father that you are.
Eric: When Morgen was born, it was great. We were living high! Everything was great, we both had jobs, we were in good callings, Morgen was healthy and happy, and we were on cloud nine. Then when Karina was born, she was sick and we were confronted with her health challenges. That made things very very real, whereas before it was kind of surreal. So that was a turning point that made me realize that life was very precious and that we have to take advantage of the moments that we have and make the influence where we can because you never know and you can’t take things for granted.
MF: What is the best advice you have received as a father?
Eric: Just recently I met with a good friend and something that he said which was really insightful was that we should try to figure out what legacy you want to leave as a father, because you will leave a legacy whether you want to or not.
Along the same lines, he said to have a family mission statement, what do you want your family to stand for? For the same reason, so your kids, as they grow up they know what the family stands for, what’s allowed, what’s not allowed, what the norm is. So that when they are confronted with things that are not normal, they’ll know where to fall back on.
MF: As you look back at your six years as a father, what is the most enjoyable thing about being a father?
Eric: To be there to see when they learn something. To see that they are learning and growing and to know that we’ve had an impact on them. It’s the hands off stuff, what they do when we are not there, that’s the most exciting thing, to see them making decisions on their own.
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