Missing it already…but there is more to look forward to

My little Josh still loves to cuddle
with dad.

It was a rant, well, not really but my kids may have thought it was. It went like this…

"Parker doesn't like me to hug him any more, Luke, lets me but he doesn't hug me back, Helaman…nope. The only one that still hugs me is Camille and Joshua. Parker still let me hold his hand just a year ago but now…he'll slap my hand if I even try! You guys have grown and changed!"

My little Josh still loves to hug me and cuddle with me. So does Camille. But soon, they too will change. They grow. They change. One day they wake up and realize it's weird to hug dad, to hold his hand, to sit on his lap, to be kissed by him.

Nothing compares to the feeling of holding a little hand, pressing your cheeks against a soft chubby little cheek, or cradling a little child in your arms while telling him or her a story that makes them laugh or giggle.

Maybe not everyone enjoys it like I do. But I venture to say that most dads feel a twinge of loss, longing, even sadness, when they realize their little boy or princess has grown up and have changed. I do. That's why every day I enjoy each moment with my children. I hope it's not smothering. But I take every chance I can to hug them, kiss them, have them on my lap, tickle them, hold their hand. That is, until they grow and no longer accept such affection.

The other day, my oldest son (15) said to me "dad, can we go throw the ball later today?" In my mind's eye I saw a cute little boy (he was very cute and chubby as a toddler) pulling on my hand with his little hand asking me to play with him. Then it dawned on me!

I said 'yes!' readily. And though it wasn't the feeling of his soft chubby hand, I felt a similar sense of satisfaction and happiness, and love for my son, who although bigger, taller, stronger, more mature, and with the deep voice of a grown man, he is still my boy. A boy who wanted to be with his dad.

Playing a physical one-on-one basket ball game, or throwing a football is what I have come to enjoy, in a different way, but just as much as hugging him and holding him tight (though I still do that but in a different way).

So while I continue to cherish those precious few moments I have left with my little ones, I will miss my little boys and little princess when they are grown. But I'm learning there is much more to look forward to that can be rich and satisfying. Because a dad will always be a dad.