The Example of a Father

Today I saw a scene that made me wonder how my children see me, particularly while under an unexpected and/or stressful situation.

As we waited for a church youth basketball game to begin, I saw an adult leader get overly upset about something. The details aren't important; his behavior was clearly out of line and unbecoming of a priesthood holder (and a father). But what made me pause even more than his behavior was how the boys next to him, one of whom was his own son, watched awkwardly at the whole thing.

The whole episode made me think about what if this was me throwing a fit in front of my kids (whether at home or in public). What would they think? How would they feel about me? What would my behavior influence the way they react to similar situations?

What about other behavior? Maybe it's not fits, maybe it's something else. It might be how I react to their mistakes, how I respond to their questions, to their need for my attention. It might be how I express myself about others. It may be a number of other behaviors. The questions are the same.

• What does my behavior tell them about me?
• What does my behavior say about how I see and feel about them and others?
• How does my behavior influence the way they feel about me & about themselves?
• How will my behavior affect the way they become as fathers or mothers in the future?

These and other questions prompt me to be much more aware about how my behavior makes a difference. Example does matter. It does make an impression, sometimes lasting. Question is...am I even aware of it? Do I even know how my children perceive and feel about my behavior?

I hope so. But maybe sometimes it might be good to just ask them and then make a course correction if necessary.