Top 10 Things I Wish I'd Known as a Young Dad

So, these might not make David Letterman's list but here they go...

1. Always use a towel. When changing your baby boy, make sure you always put a towel over him if you don't want to end up with a yellow wet shirt.
2. Take good precautions. Without obsessing over it or being overprotective (yes there is such a thing), take practical precautions, like, never leave a baby alone on the bed or bathtub while you go get the phone. But...
3. Don't overreact. Small children are extremely resilient, when they fall, bump their heads, or the such, don't over do it. Believe me, they'll get over it much faster than you will.
4. Pay attention. "Look at me when I'm talking to you Bob!" recognize that line? Yes, it applies to fathers too, not just super heroes. Even before they start talking, eye contact is a good habit to have when your child is speaking or gooing at you.
5. Have fun like a child. Just because you are an adult doesn't mean you can't have fun. Kids love it and you'll make awesome memories. But when your dear wife comes calling then put on your adult hat in a hurry!
6. Wear the badge with pride. When carrying your baby at church, forget your new or recently cleaned suit. Wear the milk stains and anything else that comes from your dear baby's facial orifices as a badge of honor. Believe me, your suits can always come clean and if not, chances are you will outgrow them soon anyway!
7. Don't force it! When it comes to eating, even little children have preferences. Unless you want sprayed peas all over your face, never force your child to eat that darn gerber that tastes like expired pudding. Instead, try combining it with something else your child does like. My wife asked me to make it clear this only applies to older children, not newborns.
8. Use the magic of touch. Hug them, kiss them, caress them. People ask me how my children stayed reverent in church all three hours (they never walked the halls during church). While my dear wife did most of the work, my small contribution was the practice of sitting them on my lap in a nice comfy hug. Then I'd hold their hands, caress their ears, run the point of my tie through their little hands, etc. The like it a lot and keeps them still.
9. Don't bounce the baby. First, during the baby blessing, please do everyone a favor by not bouncing the poor child. First, it's not part of the ordinance. Second, if they are asleep, the bouncing will wake them up and no baby likes to be awakened. Third, if the baby is awake, bouncing them the way a bunch of guys in a circle can do it, will not quiet them. When was the last time you were bounced by a bunch of guys much bigger than you without you screaming?
10. When she's in labor, do what she says. When she's in labor with your first child, DO what she tells you to do WHEN she tells you to do it, REGARDLESS of what the plan was! This principle of course, applies in between births, and in the years after child bearing. Yes, veteran fathers and grandfathers will tell you this is good marriage insurance.