Badge of Honor

A badge of honor is a medal or a token that signifies an awarded honor or distinction (source: dictionary.com). Police have them, military personnel wear them, firefighters wear them, boy scouts earn them and display them with pride.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a friend at church with his little boy peacefully sleeping in his arms. The little boy rested his tiny head on his daddy's shoulder. My mind raced back about 15 years when our fist son Helaman was a little baby. I've always loved holding my little ones in my arms. This one memorable morning, he was peacefully sleeping and drooling on the lapel of my Sunday suit, the only one I owned at the time. Back then we could hardly afford dry cleaning so, I tried to be very careful not to get my suits dirty. But with a new little boy, spit up and drooling at church were common place and I learned to not only live with it but to cherish it. And so, the stain became a badge of honor, something that I was proud to display as a dad. Now, every time I see a dad with a 'baby mark' on his suit, I feel admiration for that dad who takes care of his little ones and cares more about his child than having a spotlessly clean suit every Sunday morning.

So, dad, wear the badge with honor!

(Photo by Maggie Smith)

He's Just a Dad

Recently, after another successful week of working with a client from out of town, I felt great about the work we had done. The client was happy and I felt gratified about the work! The next day, Saturday, I took my two youngest children to the playground. We had a great time and they were oblivious to the fact that, to my clients, I am the guy who helps them solve messy problems. To my children, I'm just their dad.

It reminded me of another dad I know. After attending a high profile event where he received the accolades of many important people, he returned home to help with the laundry, comfort children, and play with them. His wife was ready to get his help. His children were ready to have their dad back! For them as for my children, he was just their dad, the most important man in the world for them.

So if your children don't appreciate all the awesome things you do outside the home, and just treat you as their dad, take it as a compliment. Dad is the most important man in the world!

Building Bridges

Sister Kathryn Callister and
Elder Tad R. Callister.

Recently I listened to an interview with Elder and Sister Callister on the Mormon Channel (Episode 35). In the interview, Sister Callister tells a story about how she connected with her teenage son with whom she felt she had lost a connection. One day she saw a sports magazine and realized that her son loved sports while she didn't know anything about them. She started reading articles and discussing them with her son. She became so well informed that one day her son told his father "dad, mom knows a lot about sports!" (he says "little did he know!") 

Mother and son became great friends!

What have you tried to create bridges with your children? Here are a few things I have tried to do with them individually to build bridges...

1. Take them out for breakfast
2. Play video games (seldomly but it does happen!)
3. Go to the gym and work out together
4. Listen to music together (yes, I actually enjoy some of their music)
5. Discuss apps and experiment with our iPads/iPhones
6. Chill and talk (usually while eating some treat or playing a board game)
7. Joking and horsing around. Nothing like good fun!

How about you? What do you do to build bridges with your children?

I'd love to hear your ideas!

The Traditions of the Fathers

Some years ago, during one of my regular church visits, I visited a family. The husband, after a long hard day of work (he was a mechanic), was relaxing in his lazy boy eating and watching TV. Soon after I entered the home I heard him call to his loving wife 'woman, get me some more water!' in a rather demanding voice. His wife complied. They were a happy couple, faithful to each other, active in the church. They were good people. It was just the way they lived, it was part of their culture.

In the March 2012 Ensign, there is an article by Elder Dallin H. Oaks' titled The Gospel Culture. Speaking of our need to rid ourselves of cultural traditions inconsistent with the gospel Elder Oaks said:

Some husbands...have the false idea that the husband rests while the wife does most of the work at home or that the wife and children are just servants of the husband. This is not pleasing to the Lord because it stands in the way of the kind of family relationships that must prevail in eternity and it inhibits the kind of growth that must occur here on earth of we are to qualify for the blessings of eternity. Study the scriptures and you will see that Adam and Eve prayed together and worked together (see Moses 5:1, 4, 10-12, 16, 27).  That should be our patter for family life--respecting each other and working together in love.

Question: what are some of the traditions of our fathers (or mothers) that we need to change for the sake of our families?

It's Been One Year!!

One a year ago exactly (it's leap year!) I started this blog. The blog itself is widely read in many countries (but mostly in the U.S.) and I believe it's reaching people I would not have imagined would read this blog. Last August the Spanish version of the blog went live and has become more widely and frequently read than the English version, something which I didn't anticipate. Though it takes twice as long to publish in both languages, I intend to keep doing it.

To celebrate, I'd like to recommend the all-time five most popular English version posts of the last year.

1. Father's Profiles: Karl Hawes - this was such great story and he gives great advice. Highly recommend this post.
2. Should I Stay or Should I go? It's a Choice! - I know this one created discomfort and much thinking. This is one of the posts that has created the most comments (mostly on the LinkedIn groups where I posted the article. 
3. And They Cheered On... - account of my first 25K. I'm getting ready for another one!
4. Top 10 Things I Wish I'd Known as a Young Dad - this was one of my very first posts. One of these days I'll write the sequel...10 Things I Wish I'd Known as a Dad of Teenagers! If you have any good ideas here, I'm all ears!
5. My Father's Day - an birthday homage to my own father whom I admire and love for being the best dad for me!

It's been fun, interesting, and most of all, I think writing has probably helped me the most. Comments are few (I know that blogger makes it hard to leave comments) and subscribers even fewer but I have heard from readers via email telling me they appreciate the content. I am grateful for those that read this blog even if it's only occasionally. I hope it helps someone out there. So if you wouldn't mind, please take 10 seconds and leave a comment and tell me what you think and how to make this blog better. Look forward to another year of being and improving as a dad!

Take care of what matters most!

-Marcelino

A Reminder of the Importance of Fathers

Photo by heymarchetti

The tragedy in Chardon Ohio (see news report) is a stark reminder of how important fathers are in the life of children.
No matter how one looks at it, statistics show (see one of many examples) that fatherless children are at a much higher risk of all kinds of problems such as...

• Become involved in crime
• Higher incarceration rates
• More violent and deviant behavior
• Higher probabilities of being victims and/or perpetrators of abuse
• Premarital sex
• Continue the pattern of fatherlessness

The list goes on...

And while (thankfully) not every child without a father will end up bringing a gun to school and shooting others, there is no question that EVERY child needs a daddy in their life.

And while most of us may at home dads, all of us need to be present in our children's lives.

Dads matter!