I Am an Addict.

I have a confession to make...I am addicted!

Photo by Idea go

Yes, after a long time of thinking about it, I concluded I am in fact addicted to my smartphone. If you have one of those do-it-all gadgets, you may in fact also be addicted and just not know it or admit it. But if you are not (and are not still using a pager!), then kudos to you! I admire you, envy you, and you can just read on and pity the rest of us poor souls who are.

So here is a quick test to see if you are addicted to your smartphone. If you...

• Leave your phone in your nightstand and check it just before you go to sleep
• Wake up to it every morning (your alarm clock)
• Check it first thing when you wake up
• Take it out to look at it at least once at dinner time
• You read your scriptures from it
• You no longer take your scriptures to church but use your phone instead
• You check your mail and text during movies, school functions, right before sacrament meeting, in between classes on Sunday, right before you get on your car and right after you stop, etc.
• Pull it out when you get in an elevator
• Glance at it at stop lights
• Feel shortness of breadth when you forget it at home
• Have panic attacks when you accidentally leave it at a restaurant or other public places

...then you might be addicted to your smartphone! 

Now, I don't do all of the above but I am guilty of a good number of them! And though in my opinion none of those things are inherently evil, they may get in the way of being a good father. Picture this. My daughter is trying to get my attention and I'm scrolling down through my email messages on my phone. She's going on and on and I'm not making eye contact with her but just nodding and going "uh-huh" until she says "ok!" and starts to walk away and I go "wait, what?!?" 

Dinner time is a similar story. Every now and then I discretely peek at it to see if my client replied yet to the proposal or some other important message that just can't wait until tomorrow. Of course my wife and kids can't tell because my phone is 'hidden' under the table (mastered the art and science of it after countless boring meetings), then dinner is over!

Yes, I've done it, and you probably have too! After all, this isn't new, and unfortunately, I think it's dads that are more, what shall we say...susceptible to this behavior?

So yesterday for the first time, I put away my phone during dinner and...it was wonderful!! We always have great dinner conversations but this time was even better. I felt a lot more engaged with my children and not distracted by anything. I was able to appreciate the experience much more than I usually do. It was liberating and not once did I feel anxious. It was great!!

Granted, there are many other, much less benign addictions than this, yes! But even this type of thing can get in the way of our role as fathers. So, my new commitment is to let go of my phone (and other gadgets) more and not let it interfere with my daily interaction with my wife or my children. Obviously these wonderful devices have their utility and are extremely convenient at times. But one can easily become overly dependent on them. And over time, I believe, this tendency can affect our effectiveness as fathers. 

So, I look forward to more dinners like that!